Bonds

by Sunset

He stood, watching.

He was quiet, yet observant. He watched her every move. Her every action.

He *knew* her every move. Her every action.

He knew that at eight in the evening, she would step out of their room and enter the chamber beside theirs. He knew that she would smile, and peek. And that when she was needed, she would come in and readily serve.

He knew that she would do anything for him. That she would laugh, cry, dance, sing, speak, act, just to satisfy him. He knew that she would be always there for him, as she was for *him*.

He stood outside, looking at her. She was singing softly, her gentle voice filling the cold room. Her warm touch, soothing him. Her cherry-shaped lips, kissing him.

Her love, filling him.

He knew that even though she loved him, she would not disregard *him*. No matter what happened, her love for him would never change. That whatever he did, she would accept. And what ever he decided on, she would respect.

He looked away.

The very thought of her, loving him, wanting him, doing anything for him, hurt him. He did not understand why, but it did. He couldn't accept the fact he did not love her the way she loved him.

That she was just someone he needed to fill him. To remind him, of what he had lost. To be someone he knew she could never be. A plan B once plan A backfires.

A substitute.

An alternative.

A stand-in.

"Scott?"

Her voice broke his thoughts. "Yes?" He managed to reply.

"Chris wants to say good night," she answered, smiling. She was proud of him. Damn too proud, and he liked that. He _was_ proud of him too. He looked at her angel-like looks. Hair as red as fire, eyes so green you would think they were contact lenses. Skin very clear, looks that would make every beautiful woman in the world hate her.

And love bigger than the universe.

"Well, is he asleep yet?"

"Yes. Are you all right? You seem, a…little…" She paused, face wincing a little. "Distant."

He looked guiltily. She *knew* why he loved her. "I'm fine, Maddie. Just a little cold. I'll go downstairs to warm myself up." He began to go down, without looking at her.

"Would you like to have a cup of hot chocolate? I'm making myself one."

"Yes. Please."

She smiled. "One hot chocolate coming right up." She leaned to him and kissed his cheek. "I'll be in the kitchen, Scott."

"I know." And you will always be, he added, silently. He walked to the couch, where the fireplace was, its fire blazing. He waited for the right moment, when she would not notice, and hopefully never would.

He picked up the phone, and dialled some numbers that were not familiar.

It rang once.

It rang twice.

He could feel himself worrying. Doubting. His hands were cold and sweating. But he did not hang up. He loved Maddie, and his son, but he could not hang up.

It rang thrice.

"Hello?" greeted the very familiar voice on the other line. He knew she'd be there. Warren told him so. And it felt great to hear her voice.

He bit his lip. He was committing adultery, or going to. Cheating on Madelyne. Cheating the woman who he gave his vows to. Betraying her trust to him, her love. But he could never be happy with her. He would never be contented with her. She was not the person for him.

Not the person suited for him.

Never was and never would be.

And he hated her for not being what he wanted her to be.

"Hello? If someone is on the other side, please respond. I'm hanging up now."

"Jean?"

His voice quivered.

Silence.

"Scott?" he heard her say, unsure.

"Yes, it's me."

"Scott. Oh Scott…"

"Listen, I can't talk right now. But I'll be there. I'll be there, Red. Promise." He knew he wasn't supposed to do this, but he *had* to be reunited to her. Be with her. Like they were before.

"I'll be waiting," she responded. "I love you…"

He smiled. "Yeah, I know. Me too." And hung up.

And worst of all, she was not *her*.

Madelyne was not Jean.

And he knew she would never be.

~FIN~

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