Fruitloops, Nutcases And Prophets: Part Six

by Diamonde

"Good morning Scott." Ororo smiled her least threatening smile - he'd viciously attacked empty air with a lamp last night claiming that 'they' were killing the X-Men, ignoring the fact half of them had been alive and well and asking him to put the lamp DOWN before he hurt someone.

"Good morning, Storm. I assume this means you're my babysitter for today. What are we going to do?" Scott turned off the television and looked at her expectantly.

"I was wondering if you would like to help me in the garden. I think perhaps I got a little carried away buying new plants, there are more than I can easily plant alone."

"Okay, that sounds interesting."

Scott followed her happily outside, oohed at her baby plants and helped prepare the new flowerbed with every sign of contentment. Ororo smiled. Perhaps all he needed was a little relaxation out in the fresh air. "I will just go get the other tree. Try not to attack anything unless you are sure it is really there."

"Uh-huh." Scott didn't look up from the hole he was digging until he was sure she'd gone. Then he stared the little fairy perched on the end of Storm's trowel. "Well, you just stuffed the seeing other times theory, didn't you."

The fairy screamed and threw herself behind a container of violets. "Help! Help! A human can see me! HEEELP!"

"Don't get your panties in a twist, I'm delusional. You're just a figment of my imagination, so I wouldn't worry." He looked around, wondering if he could spot a dragon.

A little head popped up and glared at him. "I am _not_ a figment of ANYBODY'S imagination!" she said indignantly. "So there."

Scott paused. No, couldn't be. But there was one surefire test to see if something was really there or not...

"Aaiieeek! Put me DOWN you disgusting huge ape!"

Scott dropped her onto the ground, where she landed butt-first in a patch of freshly-dug dirt. "Ow!" He examined his finger, resisting the urge to stick it into his mouth. "You BIT me."

The fairy picked herself up and dusted her backside off angrily. "Yeah, well you grabbed me. Self defense. Nasty human pervert."

"I am not! I just didn't think you were really there. You're a real fairy?"

"No, I'm a real turnip. Yes I'm a fairy." She gave him a thoughtful look. "I thought this was a school for mutants."

"It is. But shh, it's a secret."

"Then what are you doing here?"

Scott frowned. "I'm the field leader of the X-Men. Well, most of the time."

"Ooookay." The fairy made a boy-this-one's-REALLY-crazy face at a petunia, which Scott found rather offensive. "You keep believing what the little voices tell you, kiddo."

"Why wouldn't I be? You'll notice we all run around in spandex a lot, and I'm usually the one screaming orders that Wolverine and Gambit happily ignore."

She shook her head. "Hon, I know a special kid when I see one. Or when it sees me, anyway. One's looking at me right now."

"I AM NOT A SPECIAL KID!" Scott yelled. "I'm just temporarily insane!"

"Yeah, that's what they all say." She chewed thoughtfully on a nearly microscopic piece of hair. "Though I guess that would explain how come you can see me."

"Like I said, I'm delusional. I see things that aren't there."

"Huh." She tilted her little head to one side and gave him an assessing look. "Mind if I see? Because human adults that people might believe seeing fairies would definitely be bad news."

"Go ahead." Scott sighed. "I think everyone's been in and out of my brain this week."

"Okay."

And suddenly there was a light-footed presence inside his skull. It poked around a little, then receded. Scott blinked and stared at the little fairy, now comfily perched on a daffodil bulb. "Find anything interesting?"

"Yeah, lots. You really are mad, aren't you?"

"Ish!" Scott declared indignantly.

She looked down the front of her petal-like shirt. "Why would anyone want to do something like that? I mean, they're just for feeding babies, right? Can't be THAT much fun."

"Um, I think it's a human thing," Scott said with as straight a face as possible.

"Oh. Anyway, I can't see anything wrong with ya. You just see me because you don't expect not to. You expect to see _anything_, you know that? Barney could leap out of the cabbage patch and declare himself king of the world and you wouldn't be surprised."

"Yes I would be. We don't have a cabbage patch."

"You know what I mean." She kicked her little feet. "You're planting daffodils. I like daffodils, they're my flowers."

"Really?" Scott picked up a bulb and looked at it. "That must be nice."

"It is. But it's so much nicer when there are children around. I don't suppose you'd like to have any?" She looked hopeful.

"Not while my sanity's up for debate, no."

She sighed. "Well, if you do, tell them to go look for Daphne in the garden. I like kids."

"Sure." She was really rather cute.

"Um, when you plant these..."

"Yeah?"

Daphne smiled. "Can you do me one itty bitty favour?"

"Sorry I took so long, Scott. Remy ambushed me and talked to me very determinedly for nearly twenty minutes."

"I don't mind. I've been having fun." Scott smiled, making a mental note to thank Gambit for his cooperation.

"I see." Ororo looked down at the pattern of holes where Scott was lovingly placing his flowers. "But do you think that planting a yellow X in a circle might be a little obvious?"

Scott shrugged. "It's on all the mugs, and various other things. Beside, it's not an X-Men symbol."

"What is it?"

Scott grinned at her. "It's a landing marker for fairies."

* * *

Jean was feeling suspicious. It wasn't that she didn't trust Scott, but he _was_ delusional. "Honey?"

"Yes Jean?"

"Did you do anything with the professor today?"

Scott frowned. "No, I spent most of the morning with Ororo then got dragged off shopping with Betsy. Why?"

*Elisabeth, I should have known.* "I just felt a bit of telepathic residue in your mind, that's all."

"Really?"

Jean's eyes narrowed. He was trying to sound casual but he was defensive now. And there were someone else's 'footprints' all over the area of his mind which dealt with sex. "Yes, really. What have you been up to?" *That bitch.*

Scott squirmed. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Let's just drop it."

"No." She shuffled closer, resting her head against his shoulder and surreptitiously sniffing for perfume. "I promise I'll believe you."

"I met this really cute little fairy in the garden this morning, and she wanted to know why I could see her."

Jean sat up, looking incredulous. "You're trying to tell me you're having an fling with a fairy from the bottom of the garden?"

"The side really, and who said I was having a fling with her? She's only about two and a half inches tall, I can't see how it would work." He was looking at her as if she was the one hallucinating. Jean sulked. "Daphne didn't seem to get the idea of sex anyway."

"Then where do little fairies come from?"

"Flowers, possibly. Then again, she was a rather young fairy." He looked at her with what looked suspiciously like amusement. "Why on earth did you think I might have been doing something I shouldn't?"

"Stress-induced paranoia."

"Feeling tense?" He looked sympathetic. "Well, I can fix that."

"No!" Jean wrapped her arms around herself firmly. "No, you keep your hands to yourself. No. No. Scott, when a woman says no she means it. Scott, get your hands away from my knees! Tickling is _unfair_!"

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