Now Everything Has Changed

by Shai PeriHawk

Heya Cyke,

Just your friendly old Cajun dropping a line. Hardly had time to breathe lately, I don't see how you did it, homme. You left some trés grand shoes to fill, and Gambit have small feet.

I never thought I'd be a leader. It just didn't seem like something an ex-thief would do.

Then, I never thought I'd be writing a letter to a dead man either.

If anyone caught me, I'm sure I'd be locked up. But last week, after some battle, can never remember from one day to the next who we fighting, I met a woman. She wasn't that old, 20 maybe. She was standing out in the middle of the woods, in a state park. She had a pad of paper, a pen, and a fire.

I watched her write for a while, it looked like a letter. Then, she *burned* it, homme. Just like that, poof, all gone.

"Why you do that?" I asked her.

She didn't seem at all surprised to hear a strange voice out of the woods. Maybe she was a mutant, I don't know. "Writing a letter to my best friend," she say, like talking everyday.

"D'en why you *burn* it, chére?" I asked.

"It's a way to communicate with the dead," then she turned around and looked at me, right in the eyes, and she didn't seem to notice the strange color, or wonder why I looked like last week's gumbo. "But mostly, it's to make me feel better."

"You write letters to your dead friend?" I ask.

"Yes," she ducked her head then, she blushed, her pale skin showed it all. "I can't remember if it's a real ceremony or not, but it helps *me* and I need all the help I can get."

"Help, chére?" I asked, she looked fine to me.

She smiled then. It was a sad smile, like to break Gambit's heart. "Did you ever have a friend you thought you couldn't survive without? We were like that, so close we could hear each other's thoughts. Oh, neither of us were telepaths, but the bond was *there* y'know?" She cleared her throat and looked away again. "Anyhow, I haven't been doing so well since she died. I thought, maybe, if I could talk to her, one last time maybe, it'd be better."

"Is it?"

She took such a long time, I thought she wouldn't answer. Then I realized that the girl was crying. Finally, she wiped her eyes and nodded. "Yes, the empty isn't quite so hollow. I think-" she paused to wipe her eyes again, "I think I'm going to be all right."

We talked for a while more, but what she said really stuck in my head.

What I'm writing you about, Scotty, is this. You know the leadership deal, you were groomed for it the minute you entered Xavier's. I want to know, Slim, am I doing okay?

I know I'll never do as well as you did, but I try hard. Is it enough?

I don't know what else to say. What do you say in a letter that you don't expect to be read, never mind replied to?

I'll just be going.

Remy LeBeau, Gambit Ex-Thief Leader of the X-Men

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