by Sascha

Marrow crouched down behind a bush. 'Weird upworlders,' she thought. 'Playing games like this.' She shook her head. Most of the time these upworlders made more sense than the X-Men she'd stayed with before. But just like the other pretty people, these enjoyed playing hide'n'seek. Hide'n'seek with mutants tended to be .. hmm.. shall we say; brutal? She just didn't see the point.

Marrow ducked. Synch - Everett Thomas - had just sent M - Monet St.Croix - flying straight over her. Monet landed softly on the grass a couple of feet behind Marrow, swearing in French. Marrow let herself fell flat on the ground. She had no intention of participating in this li'l game if she could help it.

She heard somebody closing in on her from behind, and turned around so that she was laying on her back. Her hands moved instinctively down the closest bone. She was ready to pull the bone out when the stalker showed herself.

Marrow let go of the bone and relaxed. "Penance. What are you doing here?"

The red-skinned mutant didn't answer, she just moved silently through the bushes until she was next to Marrow. She sat down beside her and offered her an apple.

Marrow looked from the from the apple to Penny's face and back to the apple. Apparently Nicole\Claudette had the same taste in food as her sister had. "For me?"

Penance looked at her with big blue eyes. She stretched her hand closer towards her. Oh for heaven's sake, take it already! it seemed like she was saying.

Carefully she moved her hand over to Penance's. She hesitated a second - not really believing that the apple was for her. Then she grabbed the apple and leaned back. Judging from Penance's smile, she'd done the right thing. 'Since when do I care about the pretty peoples feelings?' Marrow asked herself and took a bite of the apple.

Nicole looked down at Marrow. 'She's got almost the same skin color as me,' she thought for the millionth time since Sarah'd changed teams (She and Ororo REALLY didn't get along). 'Just a bit brighter. She's lucky though; she can touch people. I haven't touched anybody since...' she didn't want to think about that. Her time as Monet was almost like a dream to her now, something she couldn't quite remember. She knew that Claudette felt the same way, but then, Claudette had always been living in a dream.

She lay down beside Sarah. 'I think I'm the only one that thinks of her as 'Sarah',' she mussed. 'She always calls me Penance though, like everybody else does. I guess that's understandable since I can't talk or send thoughts or anything like that, but still... I wish they'd call me Nicole just once. Nobody's called me Nicole since I was..' she thought back. How many years had it been? 6? 7? Something like that. 'Looks like I'll never get out of my sister's shadow.'

"So, Penny, why're you here?" Marrow asked between bites of the apple. "I assume you're not out here just to gimme an apple?"

"..." Nicole looked at her. 'Does she expect me to *answer* that?'

"Oh, I forgot. Sorry about that," she sent her an apologizing smile.

Penance raised her brows and looked quizzically over at her. 'Sarah? Apologizing? Am I hearing correctly here or have my ears gone haywire just like my speech?'

Marrow looked stunned by her own actions. 'Apologizing? Me? What's the world comin' to? Wonder if somebody's controllin' my brain or somethin'.'

Before they had the chance to say anything else - or rather, before Marrow had the chance to say anything else, they were ambushed by a triumphing Jubilee and Skin.

"HA!" Jubilee exclaimed. "We GOTCHA!"

Angelo and Jubilee high-fived while Marrow grudgingly was watching.

'I was ambushed! I. Was. Ambushed. What the?' She was having trouble figuring this out. She never got ambushed. Not even when playing hide'n'seek with Wolverine was she ambushed. So why the Goddess - no, scratch that - why the hell - yeah, that sounded better - had she been ambushed now? She threw an accusing stare at Penance, who was still sitting quietly beside her. 'It's her fault! If she hadn't been here, I wouldn't have been distracted. So, it's her fault.' Something hit her. 'Maybe they planned this. And me, as the sucker I apparently am, went for it. Hmmm.. That means pay-back.' She smiled.

'A very disturbing smile,' Nicole thought. 'She's up to something.'

*******

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"

Was heard from the bathroom just as Jubilee was about to sink into a long, hot bath.

The GenXers sitting in the living room downstairs looked at eachother. They all appeared clueless to why she was screaming from the top of her lungs.

"Angelo?" Sean asked.

Angelo shook his head. "Haven't done anything, sir. But I think I saw Marrow in there a couple of seconds ago. She said she'd been taking a bath. Maybe she forgot the water or something," he suggested.

Jubilee came racing down the stairs with little other than a t-shirt on. "WHERE IS SHE?" she screamed. "WHERE'S THAT DAMNED PINK MORLOCK BI.." she noticed Sean sitting there and quickly changed her mind about the word she'd been about to utter. "WHERE *IS* SHE?"

"Where's who?" Ev asked innocently (and hiding a grin).

"MARROW!!"

Jono was noticing something interesting; Jubilee's shirt was white - and it was see-through. He elbowed Angelo, who was sitting next to him.

"What?"

*Look,* he nodded towards Jubilee. *Her T-Shirt. It's..*

Angelo's eyes got HUGE. "Wow! I never woulda guessed.."

*Me neither.*

"You wouldn't have guessed what?" Paige asked from in front of TV (N.Y.P.D. Blue was on).

*J.* Jono said.

"WHAT ABOUT ME?" Jubilee asked. She was having trouble with talking naturally.

"Your T-shirt," Monet said. "It's see-through."

"IT'S *WHAT* ?!?" Jubilee looked down. "OH SHIIIIIIIT!" She turned red, then she turned around and ran upstairs again. "I'M GONNA GET YA FOR THIS, MARROW!" She threatened before she disappeared into the bathroom again.

******

Marrow was sitting on the roof. A habit she'd picked up while living with the X-Men. A habit she was very much grateful for. Sometimes living with the upworlders got too much and she had to go somewhere where she wouldn't get bothered. She'd tried the woods, but she never knew when Penance would show up, so instead, she'd quickly taken to sitting on the roof when she needed to think.

And right now she needed to think. Marrow was - as far as she knew - about 18 years old. About the same age as the rest of the Gen Xers. Except Penance. She was only 14. Marrow still didn't fully understand the concept of Penance. 'What the hell is she? Is she a person? Is she two persons? Three persons? An animal? What?' She knew that Penance had once been Monet St. Croix, but somehow her twin sisters had managed to trade places with her, giving her her life back.

'So Nicky and 'Dette was 8 when they merged and became M. M was 16. Twice as old as them. Okay. Monet was then Penance. Okay. Then they traded places so Monet was M again, and N/C became Penance, but only younger. Which means they got their own age back. That was lessee... 5-6 years ago? And Nicky and Claude are now 14? This is too weird even for me.' She shook her head. 'And to think that I used to think that the upworlders had it easy!' She leaned her back towards the pipe. 'Hasn't it been for all that age-stuff,' she continued. 'It might've been understandable, but.. Naah,' she shook her head again. 'It's confusing no matter what.'

'Specially now, when they didn't even know if Penance heard them. Or if one of the twins heard her, to be more exact. Dr. Hank McCoy had more or less determined that Penance was Nicole now, and that Claudette wasn't in charge at all, but the GenXers weren't entirely sure. They'd seen Penance zone out, like Monet - as in the merged twins - used to. The zoning had apparently meant that Claudette was in charge. She was autistic, that's why she zoned out. Now, it wasn't a 'real' zone out, not after Monet standards anyway. It was more like she - Penance - went completely blank a couple of minutes before returning to normal.

Marrow ran her finger through her short hair. See, there was her problem; She'd been spending entirely too much time thinking and pondering about Penance, and she didn't even know why. It was frustrating the hell out of her. She didn't understand it, and she didn't want to think about Ni.. Penance. 'Her name's Penance,' she reminded herself. 'Not Nicole. Her. Name. Is. Penance. And don't you forget that. ' She ordered herself.

Marrow sighed and stared down at the roof. 'Just 'cause you like her, don't mean she likes you. You ought to have learned that by now.' It startled her a bit when she realized what she'd just thought. She'd never let those thoughts actually *become* thoughts before, and she wasn't sure if she liked it. 'As if I have a choice.' She snorted.

She glanced down on her watch. "Dinner," she said out loud and got on her feet. She really wasn't in the mood for socializing, but if she didn't show up, Sean would probably send out a search party for her. 'Hmmm.. Wonder if Jubilee found the snake?'

********

"Pass me the potatoes, would you?" Everett held his hand out to receive the expected potatoes.

"Here." Monet picked up the plate and sent it to him. She sighed and looked around the table again.

Jubilee was glaring at Marrow. She was obviously plotting evil plans against her.

Marrow was studying her food closely. Refusing to look at anybody.

Angelo was flirting with Paige.

Sean was talking with Everett and Penance.... Monet looked around. 'No Penance. That's weird.'

********

Nicole was staring at the sky. 'Why Sarah?' she thought. 'Why not Jono? Or Angelo? Or Ev? Or if it absolutely have to be a girl, why not Jubilee? Or Paige? After all, they're both nicer and prettier than Sarah.' She turned over on her stomach. 'Ah.. It's probably my imagination going haywire. It's probably nothing. It's probably just my hormones going wild of some reason. Maybe it's some kinda spell or something.'

Too bad she didn't believe that. She was in love with Sarah. Sigh. She was mute, red-skinned, razor sharp, a mutant AND in love with the most hostile girls on this planet. Could things get any worse?

'Yes, they could. What if she figured it out?' Nicole almost choked. 'Oh God, don't let her figure it out!'

*******'

"Now I'm sick of this," Monet exclaimed. She looked around one more time to make sure Marrow wasn't hiding under a bush or something. "If Marrow's here, Penny's gone, if Penny is here, then Marrow's gone! And now both of them are gone! Mon Dieu, it's annoying!"

"Y'know," Everett said thoughtfully. "If I hadn't known better, I'd say that.. Naah.." He shook his head. "That can't be it."

"Hmmm?" Jubilee looked up at him with big blue eyes. "What's it, darlin'?"

"Nothin'," He shook his head. "I was about to mention that they're actin' kinda like you and I did, but that's just stupid."

Jubilee laughed. "Yeah, that was kinda stupid."

"I'm not so sure about that.." Monet said thoughtfully. She was 14 after all, it wasn't impossible. A bit strange, but not impossible. Marrow on the other hand... 'I gotta have a chat with that girl,' she decided. Just in case.

***********

'Oh no.' Marrow sank deeper into the couch. 'This is the *last* thing I need, Miss Priss to be lecturing me about my disappearance acts. Wonder what she'd say if I told her the reason?' She grinned. 'She'd probably kick me outta here and over to Excalibur. Can't have someone like me hanging around her sister, now can she?'

Monet looked concerned at Marrow. She really didn't understand why Marrow was avoiding to look at her. She didn't quite get that weird smile on her face either. "Marrow?"

"Hmm?" Marrow looked up.

"Why are you avoiding Penance?" Monet asked bluntly.

"Huh? Wha? Eh? What...Do you mean?" Marrow managed to get out, while thanking all the Gods above for her natural pink skin, cause she was pretty sure she was blushing.

'Ahh.. I see I hit the nail this time.' Monet smiled. "I mean, you're obviously avoiding Penance, and I'd like to know why."

"Don't bet on it, pretty girl," Marrow muttered. A bit louder she said: "I don't see that's any of your business!"

"Well, I do!" Monet walked over to her. "Listen," she said quietly. "I'm not trying to ... She's my sister. I'm worried -"

"About what?! I haven't done anything!" Marrow jumped on her feet so she was standing face to face with Monet.

"I'm not saying you have. I was just wondering if you've noticed anything special about her lately?"

Marrow furred her brows. "Like what?"

'She doesn't know anything,' Monet decided. She could 'hear' her confusion. "Never mind, Marrow." She turned to leave and go look for Penance instead.

Marrow had other ideas. She grabbed Monet wrist and held her. "What? Please..." she trailed off.

"Marrow?"

She let go of Monet's hand and ran. Monet was left standing in the living room, looking confused after her. Jono walked in.

*Hey Monet,* he said. *What's up?*

"I'm not sure... I was talking to Marrow, and.."

*Ah, our resident case of denial and angst,* Jono nodded.

"Denial?"

*Yep. She thinks that if she doesn't mention it, it'll go away.*

"mention what?" Monet asked.

*She's in love. Wait, ya mean ya didn't know that? Weird.*

"How come?"

*Well, since it's yer sister an' all, I figured you'd be the first ta know about it.*

"MY SISTER?!" Monet screamed. "MY SISTER?!?"

************

Nicole was sitting in a tree, just watching the forest from a lookout point. She saw Sarah running towards her and clinged closer to the tree. When Sarah stopped right under the tree she was in, she was sure she'd been spotted. She was therefor extremely surprised when Sarah sank down on the ground, crying her eyes out. Nicole's immediate response was to try and comfort her. She didn't think that Sarah would like it though, so she stayed put.

"Not fair.." Marrow sobbed. "It's not fair! Why... Oh God, why?" She lifted her hands up to her face and traced the bones there with her fingers. "If.. If.. Maybe if I hadn't been a Morlock, then.. No." She shook her head. "It doesn't matter." She smiled a sad smile. "Just look at what you've done, darlin'. Can't run away from your past, can't undo anything, can't.. change anything. Ain't no room for regrets from you, Marrow. And you better remember that. That might.. You might.. No dreams." She kept on crying.

When Monet had asked her about Penance, she'd sounded so worried, that Marrow'd gotten worried too. Grabbing Monet's hand and later letting go and run, had been the last straw for her. Several weeks of realizing that she loved a girl who was 4 years younger than her and also incapable of communicating, hadn't exactly been easy for Marrow. That she preferred girls was old news to her, finding out that she was in love, was however not old news.

Nicole couldn't watch any longer. She couldn't bare to see the strong Morlock girl breaking down like that, she had to do something! She silently climbed down the tree and sat down beside her. Sarah was crying too hard to notice. Nicole wasn't sure what to do next. If her skin hadn't been razor sharp then she'd probably hugged her, but... She willed her skin to soften, it had worked a couple of times before, maybe it would this time too?

She hesitated a second before she put her hand on Sarah's shoulder. Sarah stiffened of shook. She turned around.

"Nic--Penance! What are you doing here?"

'Nic.. She was about to say Nicole!'

Marrow shook her head. "Never mind. I know you can't answer me anyway." She breathed deeply. "Y'know, Penance, I've got something to tell you..." she looked over at the young girl who looked up at her with innocent eyes. "And I don't want you to .. to be afraid of me or something, cause I promise you, I'd never hurt you! I hope you believe me.."

'Of course I do, stupid! I know you'd never hurt me - or anybody else on the team.'

Marrow looked down. "This is kinda hard for me to say.. 'Specially since I dunno what you think, and 'cause you're so young and all.. But I'm gonna try." She took a deep breath, steeled herself and looked up straight into Nicole's eyes. "Um, okay, so here I go.. IjustwantedtosaythatIloveyouandIunderstandthatyoudon'tlovemeandprobablyneverwill, Ijusthadtotellyou."(1) She said in a rush. "You don't hafta do anything I just had to tell you. Because I can't go around pretending no more. I hope we can still be friends though. I think I'd really like that."

Nicole's eyes got huge. Did she just hear what she thought she did? She looked quizzically down on Sarah who was looking at her with worry in her eyes. 'Maybe I did...' She got on her feet and left to find something to write with. It took her only a couple of seconds to find an appropriate branch. When she returned to where Sarah was sitting, she found her sitting in front of the tree with a lost look on her face, like she didn't know what to do next. Sarah noticed her and got on her feet. "I'll go away," she said quietly and started to walk away.

Go away? Sarah was leaving? Now? No! Nicole didn't want that. She ran over to her. She couldn't let her go. Not now, not when she'd just told her she loved her. Nicole blocked Sarah's way.

"What?" Marrow asked confused.

Nicole started drawing something in the dirt with the branch she was carrying. It looked almost like..Like a heart? With letters inside? Marrow bent down to have a closer look. "N + S?" She looked over at Nicole. "What does that mean?"

'I think that was pretty clear, but if you want it clearer, I'd be happy to apply.' Nicole pointed first at herself then she wrote an N on the ground.

"N for Nicole?" Marrow asked.

Nicole nodded happily. She was getting through to her! Then she pointed at Marrow and wrote an S next to the N.

"I'm S?" Marrow looked at Nicole. 'No, I must be mistaking. She can't be meaning what I think - wish - she's meaning.'

Nicole nodded. Then she sighed soundlessly. 'Man, she's slow. Of course she's S!'

"Uh? Nic-" she paused, looked down at the letters and continued. "Nicole, are you trying to tell me something here? Like.. Like.." Marrow trailed off. Losing her bravery.

'I LOVE YOU, you stupid girl!' Nicole wondered what she could do next to make Sarah understand that. She willed her skin to soften again.

"Nicole, what are you.." Marrow shut up when Nicole's fingers made contact with her face. She looked at Nicole with eyes huge of surprise. "Nic? You care about me?" her voice was filled with wonder and doubt. Nicole nodded her head. Marrow's eyes filled up with tears that started running down her face. Nicole immediately removed her hand, thinking that she'd hurt her somehow.

Sarah caught her hand. "Nic, are you trying to tell me ... that you ... you love me too?" She was almost afraid to ask. Nicole nodded again. She was still afraid that she'd hurt her. Marrow's face lit up in a smile. Her eyes softened as she looked down at the young girl."I don't know what to say.. This is.. Oh man.. Are you sure?"

'What do I have to do to get her to understand that I *love* her?' Nicole wanted to convince Sarah that she really did love her, but how? She got an idea. She rose up 'till she was standing on her toes and kissed Sarah. That pretty much took Marrow by surprise, but it didn't take her long to reply to the kiss.

"Oh boy!" Jubilee whispered to herself. "Oh. My. God." This was *not* what she'd expected to see on her walk. She soundlessly moved away from the couple. This was something she needed to think about to figure out what she was going to do.

Sarah and Nicole never knew she was there, they were way too busy kissing.

***

(1) {I just wanted to say that I love you and I understand that you don't love me and probably never will, I just had to tell you.}

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