Heretics

by Matt Nute

11:36 PM, Red Bluff, Arkansas

"And _I_ say that the bugger's a li'l poof!"

"What? Charlie Chaplin is a classic?"

"Sorry, gotta agree with Cass on this one."

"You would."

The argument between the young blond woman and her two male companions continued as they entered the gas station. The night manager barely glanced up as they walked to the snack food aisle.

"I don't see how you can eat that, Jesse..." began the woman, speaking to her dark-haired friend.

"Aye, luv," commented the shorter of the two men, clad in a tattered vest, blue jeans, and dark sunglasses.

"I'm wit' ye. What in th' bloody hell _are_ pork rinds anyway?" The manager looked up, amused, as the one they called Jesse responded,

"Cassidy, let's not start on eating habits here..." Cassidy laughed out loud.

"Well, then, I'm off to th' little boy's room for a set."

Jesse approached the counter with two bags of pork rinds and a six-pack of Pepsi. His lady friend followed closely with a fruit punch and bag of peanuts.

"That'll be three-fifty." drawled the cashier, glancing up at the clerical collar Jesse was wearing. "Hey, you really a..." Her sentence trailed off as she noticed Jesse's attention focused outside.

"Hey, Tulip."

"Yeah?"

"Those boys aren't washing our car, are they?" The cashier followed Jesse and Tulip's eyes to the parking lot, where a group of youths was swarming around a red convertible, stripping the stereo and starting on the tires.

"Ah shit..." the manager began to say as she reached for the phone, "I'll call the cops."

"Don't worry." replied Tulip with a smile.

"But I..." continued the manager, reaching for the phone.

#DON'T TOUCH THE PHONE.#

The manager froze in place, totally unable to move. Jesse smiled at her.

"Thanks ma'am, but I got this all under control." Just then, Cassidy walked out of the restroom.

"Eh, better light a match or three in there, mates... eh, wot's this?" Tulip smiled over her shoulder at Cassidy as Jesse walked outside.

"Excuse me, gentlemen." spoke Jesse, startling the six hoodlums around the car. Two of them pulled out pistols, while the other four brandished knives and chains. Cassidy dropped a twenty on the counter and grabbed a carton of cigarettes.

"Don' worry ‘bout us, luv." he joked, "We'll be along shortly."

11:40 PM, about half a mile down the road

"Mulder, I don't believe it."

"That's a switch."

"You're being sarcastic, aren't you? I can tell." The red-haired FBI agent scowled at her partner. They had recently returned from a case in Texas where an entire town had been incinerated in a mysterious church explosion.

Coupled with reports of a mysterious ghostly gunman that murdered over a dozen of the local police, and the local sheriff's suicide, this had been the latest in a series of strange cases dubbed the "X-Files" by the FBI. Agents Dana Scully and Fox Mulder had been sent to Annville to investigate, but had come up with no hard leads. Mulder spoke.

"We're almost out of gas, I think I see a service station up ahead."

The grey government sedan pulled into the gas station just as the group of hoodlums began to circle Jesse Custer. Mulder and Scully saw what was occuring and reached for their pistols. Scully glanced at the dark-haired man in the collar, and for a moment, swore his eyes glowed red.

#DROP THE GUNS.#

The hoods dropped their guns to the pavement. Scully's pistol fell to the floor of the car, as did Mulder's.

Mulder's shocked gaze met Scully's.

"Fox, pick up your gun!"

"I can't."

"What?"

"I CAN'T!"

Dana Scully stared as Jesse Custer glared at the vandals.

#YOU.# He pointed at one. #PUT THE STEREO BACK.# The hoodlum obediently leaped into the seat of the convertible and began reinstalling the car stereo. The others gasped.

#THE REST OF YOU... TAKE A NAP.# The five vandals slumped to the pavement, unconscious. Agent Scully could take no more.

Brazen and unarmed, she threw open the door of the sedan.

"FBI! You're under arrest!" Jesse raised an eyebrow.

"For what, ma'am?"

Scully stammered, "Well, for... assault!" Cassidy howled in laughter.

"Aye! I can see it now, Reverend Jesse Custer, indicted on assault with a deadly voice!" Mulder got out of the car with a start.

"Reverend Custer? Of Annville, Texas?" Jesse, Cassidy, and Tulip instantly stopped smiling.

"Now see here..." began Tulip. Jesse cut her off.

"Quiet, hon. Let me handle this." Jesse stepped forward. "FBI, you said?" Mulder nodded. "Either one of you know an Agent Dinnings?" Scully raised her hand.

"Dinnings? You know him? We just took over the Annville investigation from him." Jesse extended a hand to Scully.

"Well, miss, how about we all sit down over a beer and discuss this?" Scully recoiled, shocked.

"A beer? You're wanted for questioning in the..."

#WE'RE GOING FOR A BEER.#

"Sure, you buying?" replied Scully with a smile.

1:15 AM, The Lost And Found Bar, Red Bluff, Arkansas

"So, basically what you're saying," began Mulder, "Is that you're possessed by a half-angel, half-demon entity that has a power as strong as the Word of God, is that it?" Jesse downed the rest of his beer, slamming the empty mug down on the table.

"Something like that." He motioned towards the empty pitcher. Fox waved a waitress over with a new pitcher. Tulip sat beside Jesse, listening intently to the conversation between the former minister and the FBI agent.

Across the bar, Agent Scully was engrossed in a game of darts with Cassidy.

"I just can't get the hang of this." she began, giggling. Cassidy threw an arm around her shoulders and handed her another beer.

"Don' worry, luv. Ye get better as ye go..." Drunk and giddy, Scully raised her beer and nodded in assent, reaching for the darts again.

Tulip reached over and whispered in Jesse's ear, "That was mean, using the Word on that lady there." Jesse smiled.

"She needed to get the stick out of her ass. Besides, she could probably beat Cass sober. Plus, Cass doesn't need to get ‘Spooky' here started on vampires."

"Did I hear you say ‘vampires'?" asked an interested Mulder.

"No." replied Jesse and Tulip simultaneously.

Three hours later, after last call, the five of them staggered out of the bar.

"Was nice meeting you," waved Mulder.

"Nice meeting you," replied Jesse. The two FBI agents staggered to their sedan.

"Mulder, wait.." began Scully, "We still have to question them about Annville."

"Oh yeah, Reverend Custer!"

#FORGET IT.#

"Never mind."

-THE END-

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