Secrets of the Past

by Kerri G.

Part 4.

Charlotte climbed the front steps slowly, her clothes damp, but no longer dripping from the impromptu swim. She was very tired, all she wanted to do was lose herself in a hot bath and fall into bed for a long nap.

Passing by the library, she saw Logan was still here. It had been useless to hope he'd gotten bored and left, but she had hoped. He was leaning back in her chair, feet up on her desk, with a glass of her whisky, looking damned smug about something. Damn bastard, already trying to take over. There was a nice, sharp palm knife in the top drawer of that desk, all she had to do was get close enough to open that drawer, pull it out, and stab him through heart. All without him noticing a thing.

"C'mon in, darlin'," he smirked at her. "I was just tellin' yer prettyboy friend here how we found each other again."

Friend? What friend? She stepped inside the doorway to find Wyn seated across from Logan. The tight look on his face told her they'd just spent too long in here trying to rile each other up. Oh, damn, damn, damn! She really needed this. Right after that extra hole in her head she had scheduled.

"What are you doing here?" she asked wearily, leaning against the door frame. "You're supposed to call first."

"I did call, more than once, but no one answered the phone. I got worried." Wyn's voice betrayed none of his irritation, but the other two knew it was there. Logan by his scent, Charlotte from her long association with the Immortal.

She rubbed her forehead to ease the headache she felt coming on. "Let me change clothes and we'll talk." Maybe she could just slip down to the basement and gate out to somewhere else. Outer Mongolia sounded good right now.

"Good idea, darlin', a long talk is just what we all need."

"I meant Wyn and I, Logan. Not you. You're not invited. You were never invited."

"Gotta piece o' paper that says I was."

"*Was* is the operative word, you-" she broke off the sentence, biting down on her tongue. How dare he provoke her into an argument in front of Wyn, with a house full of kids! She spun around on her heel and left the room, unable to take anymore without commiting a major felony.

Wyn surged to his feet to follow her out, catching her on the stairs. "I want an explanation," he told her.

She looked down at his hand on her arm, her eyes turning glacial. "Let go."

It took him a moment -- he'd never see her true anger and didn't recognize it at first -- but he released her, reluctantly stepping back.

Charlotte let out her breath and relented, this all had to be disconcerting to him. She certainly wasn't dealing with it all very well herself. "Let's go talk in my room. It's the only place we're likely to get any privacy today."

She left him sitting in a chair in the alcove while she took her clothes into the bathroom to shower and change. When she returned, Logan was standing in the doorway, leaning nonchalantly against the jamb. He taunted Wyn with his very presence.

Charlotte walked over to him and, with a great deal of satisfaction, pushed him out, shutting the door in his face.

"That," she told Wyn, "felt really good." It felt better than good. She'd like to do it again, with a lot more force behind the door.

He didn't smile. "He is Jess' father." She was showing more feeling than he could remember seeing for as long as he'd known her. Charlotte had always been good company, but a part of her had been closed off to everyone. There had been times he thought she'd let down her barriers for him, but now he could see she never had. He'd never roused any deep feelings in her. She was in high temper now, and it was all for the man she'd pushed out.

"Yes." She sat down in the other chair to face him, still glaring at the door.

"When did you find him?"

"I didn't find him, it was pure dumb luck Thomas and Jess ran into him two weeks ago. I thought he was dead."

"That's why you haven't been answering the phone?"

"I've had a lot to think over," she leaned her chin on her hand braced against the arm of the chair. "I didn't want the distractions. I have other things to consider right now."

"I see." He nodded his head. "What is our place in this?"

Ever logical; lay out the facts, draw the conclusions. He was so....predictable. Consistent. So...not her Logan, or the one right outside. Wyn was just what she wanted, right? So easy to deal with, to reason with, to say no to......

"I don't know." She didn't know; had absolutely no clue where to go from here, not logically. Emotionally, she had the plan all set: kill Logan painfully and slowly, then hack his body into small pieces and get a few Venus Flytraps.....

He got to his feet. "Okay."

"What?"

"When you decide what you want, let me know."

"You're leaving? Just like that? Wyn, you're my friend, and you have every right to be here. Don't let him chase you out."

The bewildered look on her face told him she didn't have a single clue. Fifteen years, and she had no idea.

"If I thought you wanted me to stay, I would," he told her in a low voice. "I've waited years to see that look in your eyes for me."

"I...." She was dumbfounded. "But....?"

"But I'm just good ol' Wyn. You never saw me, did you?"

"Wyn, it hasn't been like that between us. You knew that's not what I wanted."

"I knew, but I hoped you would come to me in time. I love you, Charlotte, and I don't like this."

"I'm not happy about this either," she said softly. "I don't know what to do." The indecisive state of mind she found herself in was alien to her. She'd been in control for so long, and now her precious, hard-won control had been ripped away from her, leaving her in wholly unfamiliar territory.

"Do you love me?"

Charlotte bit her lip. After all these years, to be asked that question twice in two weeks.

*....Tell me one thing. Did ya love me?....*

*....Yes, I loved you. I still love you. You wear my soul next to your heart....*

She raised her eyes to him, unable to speak.

It was answer enough.

At least she didn't try to lie to him. He couldn't take it if she tried to let him down easy.

Wyn smiled wryly, then took her hand to pull her out of the chair. He hugged her tightly, kissing her hard. "I'm leaving. You know where to reach me."

~*~*~*~*~

Charlotte watched his Blazer drive back down the road until it disappeared, feeling like she'd been abandoned. All this time, and she'd never realized he'd felt that way. He'd had female companionship over the years, and it never bothered her. They didn't have that kind of bond. He was her friend, someone she could turn to when the loneliness grew too much to handle alone, someone she could talk to and not have to explain herself, or her memories. Someone she could spend an entire lazy day watching old movies with, and not feel the need to entertain. Someone she thought she knew.

She didn't have one damn clue about anything, not anymore.

If she wasn't so tired, she'd go back to the lake, but the exhaustion seeped from every pore. She had to take a nap, if only so she'd be awake for the kids' barbecue later. Jess was having so much fun with his new friends, she wouldn't let anything spoil it for him.

She went back inside the shields for the walk up the long drive.

"Y'get rid o' him, darlin'?"

Logan's voice told her he'd been watching them. She couldn't even lose her dearest friend without an audience to mock her. The knife inside turned again, digging deeper into her soul. She stopped to face him.

He leaned against a tree, arms crossed, a sarcastic grin on his face.

He was so damned smug. She hated him so much at this very moment.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing?" she whispered.

His smile faltered a bit at the unspoken agony in her voice. It sounded like she'd dredged it up from the depths of a personal hell. "I'm just askin' --"

"You don't give a damn about anyone other than yourself, do you? You've stumbled back into my life, and you just won't leave!" Her eyes burned into his, her hands clenched into tight fists. "It took me years to get my life back on track, to stop having my heart ripped out every time I looked at Jess. I died a little every single time I saw a man that might have been you. Do you care?"

"Darlin'..."

"Of course you don't care. How could you, I'm a stranger to you. You don't know a damn thing about me, what I think, how I feel. Yet you can just bully your way in here and start tearing me into tiny pieces. You like it, don't you? Does it make you feel strong? Powerful? Like you own me? You like owning someone's life? Turn me this way and I try to kill you, that way I fall into your arms like a whore."

He had nothing to say to that.

"What a whore I am. Thank you for the feeling and for making me see things so clearly. I don't know what I would've done without having my life stirred for your amusement."

Charlotte left him there to stare after her.

End Part 4.

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