Story Threats

by Kaylee

THE THREATS.

1) <Acetal> New threat: Borrow them and the Nasty Boys will mount you on a pole at a Mardi Gras.

2) <BastNurse> KJ: Unauthorized users will be forced to read every Marrissa Picard story without the MSTing insulation.

3) <Acetal> Anyone who borrows them will get their fic shoved back up their input device.

4) <BastNurse> KJ: Or...."Borrow without my permission and I'll dress you up as Rogue and send you to Mike Gibby's house."

5) <Thadeus> anyone who borrows these chars will have the 5 best hackers ruining your lives

6) <BastNurse> Or: "Use my characters and I'll dip you in Guinness, cover you with gummis and FedEx you to the slippers."

7) <Lyssie> Borrow my characters and I'll sic Tapestry's Muses on you. You'll never eat, sleep or be merry again.

8) <SabreBabe> Borrow this fic, and I will send Ultim0 to inspect your shoes. While you're still in them.

9) <Acetal> Anyone who borrows them will find out exactly what tropical fruit, a chainsaw, a barrel of monkeys and explosives have in common.

10) <BastNurse> Offenders will be kidnapped by aliens and given an anal probe.

11) <Acetal> And post a thing saying 'If anyone borrows these threats without permission...'

12) <BastNurse> Offenders will be forced to babysit the X-Babies.

13) <Lyssie> Borrow these and we'll have you whipped and chained next to Barney in Hell.

14) <BastNurse> Unauthorized use will result in offenders being tied down and forced to watch Blues Clues.

15) <Lyssie> Borrow these characters and the Teletubbies will Eh-Oh you in the middle of the night.

16) <Thadeus> borrow these and I will spank you you bad bad person :)

17) <BastNurse> Borrow these and we'll force you to be the new Spice Girl.

<SabreBabe> And don't forget to add that Dex will write the script for the new Spice Girl.

<KayJay> Bast: And we'll make all the necessary 'modifications' if you happen to be male. <eg>

18) <BastNurse> SB: well....how about...*shudder*..."Take my characters and UltimO will send you all his...er...*slightly* used high heels."

19) <SabreBabe> borrow this fic and SabreBabe will draw a naughty pic of you and Colossus in a compromising position and Luba will post it!

<BastNurse> Deb: even if you're male! especially if you're male!

<SabreBabe> Mary: damn right!

<SabreBabe> I'll even get Dex to colour it!

20) <Lyssie> Borrow these without permission and burning in hell will be the least of your worries.

21) <BastNurse> "Use these characters and Lady Amethyst will write you into Mhairie in the Shatty/Richtor/Cable/Cyclops scene."

22) <Lyssie> No feedback? No cookies for you!

23) <BastNurse> "Use Kai and I'll tell your mom you were looking at all the X-rated pics on Luba's page."

24) <BastNurse> "Borrow Kai without permission and I'll replace your usual coffee with dark sparkling Folger's crystals!"

<SabreBabe> Mary: or Moira's.

<BastNurse> Deb: I don't want to KILL anyone.

25) <BastNurse> "Borrow Kai and I'll dress you in lingerie and send you to a really drunk Sabretooth!"

26) <Lyssie> "Borrow Kai and a mountain will fall on your house."

27) <Thadeus> use my characters and I will have to push this button muah hahahahaha and I won't tell what it does and your whole life you will never know what it did hahahahahahahahaha

28) <BastNurse> "Offenders will get a guest role in a Sabretooth/Riptide slash fic."

29) <Lyssie> "Those who don't send feedback shouldn't complain when they receive none."

30) <BastNurse> "Use Kai and I'll force you to read an X-Men/Voyager crossover written by Lobdell and drawn by Liefield."

<SabreBabe> Mary: ew!

<BastNurse> sb: they won't DIE, but...they'll be insane.

31) <SabreBabe> Use Kai and you'll be written into the Summers' family tree!

32) <Lyssie> "Use any character without my express permission and I'll make you read ST:TNG/XMEN: Planet X....Sober."

33) <BastNurse> "Offenders will be locked in a room with Jean and Scott and told in great detail their years as Slym and Redd."

34) <BastNurse> Offenders will be written into the West Coast Avengers.

35) <BastNurse> what about "Use Kai and you will be retconned as Tenderheart in *Wolverine Meets the Care Bears* ?"

36) <Lyssie> Borrow and you'll be filleted.

37) <Lyssie> Offend the poster of this fic not. For you are only mortal and immortal Muses have a long memory.

38) <`Leary> "I will pull your intestines out and feed them to starving rats while you're still alive."

39) <Lyssie> Offend not the archivist, for s/he is well known and liable to mention your name to certain malicious, marauding fictives..

40) <`Leary> "I will cut your heads off and use your skull as an ashtray and the other as cafeteria mystery meat."

41) <BastHappy> Beware the writer for you are crunchy to Lockheed and taste good with gravy.

42) <Lyssie> All flames will be passed to the Congressional Inspection Commitee.

43) <BastHappy> "Use Kai and you will be cooked in a rotisserie and served to Lockheed with an apple in your mouth."

44) <BastHappy> Offenders will be dressed as Gambit and thrown to a pit of screaming fangirls.

45) <Lyssie> Borrow any characters and you'll be turned over to the IRS.

46) <BastHappy> Borrow my characters and you'll be Clown's next date.

47) <Lyssie> Flame me, and I'll give your phone number to Linda Tripp and tell her you had an affair with the President. And, if that doesn't scare you, I'll just sell you into slavery on a remote Isle in the Pacific.

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